As someone in her “mom era,” with two kids under 3, working from home and in my thirties, I find myself without much of a social life.
I know I’m in this phase of life - mom era - where my kids & home life take priority. Does priority mean you have no life? Absolutely, not.
I see many parents still traveling, discovering hobbies or making time for themselves with or without their children.
After the sleepless newborn phase (which is still leaning hard into 6+ months with my son), I really started to get back my routine. I workout in the mornings, go for a walk at lunch to connect with my husband, and end the night reading a book.
Birds of a feather
I was reading The Slight Edge, and there is a chapter talking about mentors or those you can model after to become a master.
The author, Jeff Olson, shares the old saying, “Birds of a feather flock together.” He mentions how you are the average - financially, emotionally, physically - of the five people you surround yourself with in life.
I paused to think about who my five best friends are.
I have my go-to best friends but sadly, we don’t talk daily. We see each other probably every quarter, send the occasional TikTok/Reel and that’s it. I know 100% those girls are there for me till death but I couldn’t include them on my "five."
My five includes my husband, my 2.5 year old, my almost 6 month old, my mom … and probably, Brittany. I don’t think Olson was thinking a toddler & baby would be included as mentors.
Eek! Does this mean that I’m going down on the curve to success?
I nervously asked my husband about it, and he explained that your five could include social media or what you consume daily.
Well, I consume a lot of mom content - how to conscious parent, how to get your child to sleep through the night, ads for all the parenting hacks or Google searches of whatever other health or parent related question I have that week.
Sprinkled in that mix of content are those motivational posts for my workouts and nutrition, entertaining posts about nostalgic childhood memories and personal development gurus.
So, 80% is mom, 10% entertainment, 10% personal growth.
Time for you
Although my family consumes a large part of my life right now in my mom era, I know that I need to carve out time for me.
This is something that I know I need to help my confidence flourish, and be a better parent and wife. Fill your cup before you fill others.
This is a tough concept for me because I thrive on helping others. I don’t know if it’s my people pleaser ways or just human nature. I want to make an impact.
My plan to end 2023 is to start to really think about what I’m passionate about and what do I want to strive for in life. I know one of those goals is to be a better mom, and I can do so by shifting those percentages slightly to focus more on me.
I want to surround myself with love, positive mindsets and growth.
To those of you in your mom era, ask yourself what do I really need? What can make me a better woman? Not just mom, wife, daughter.
If you are anything like me, it’s not an easy question. But it’s worth digging into to help build confidence in yourself.
Stay simply confident,
Kayla