Eliminating insecurities
To eliminate an insecurity, we have to go to the root of the cause. It’s an uncertainty. It’s an anxiety about the unknown. Who reading this right now can predict the future? Do you know what is going to happen tomorrow?
I think the first thing to realize is that we do not have control of outside forces. We only have control of our thoughts and actions.
Now, you can’t go through life just carefree, no planning or worry. But when it comes to how you feel about yourself, you can change it.
Someone’s opinion is none of your business
American author, motivational speaker and blogger, Rachel Hollis, wrote that “someone else’s opinion of you is none of your business.” I want to continue that thought to dive into insecurities.
Where do our insecurities come from? Did you just wake up one day and say, “I hate the way my legs look.” Unfortunately, I don’t think you did. Instead, I think someone said something to you or you saw something and compared yourself. How dangerous is that? One small trigger can have a ripple effect on what you think about yourself.
I recently watched a TikTok from a psychologist who explained that you can be the best parents in the world, but your child may hear from another adult or teacher that they aren’t smart enough and the limiting belief is implanted.
Looking back in my life, some of my insecurities stem from my parent’s insecurities, which probably stemmed from their parents and the cycle could continue.
How to stop the cycle
Continue to remind yourself that a belief is just that - it’s a thought. You can change your thoughts.
Start by just taking one negative insecurity you have and really examine it. Determine where did it come from - TV? Parents? Friends? Instagram?
An example for me is my ears are too big to wear my hair up. You can even see
during the photoshoot of earrings, I hid the top of my ear with my hair. That was a habit I developed as a way to hide my ears. Telling me that I had "Dumbo" ears was a simple joke when I was growing up. My ears stick out a little further than most. No one meant to build that insecurities but I built it within myself.
Once you identify the insecurity, figure out what is the worst that can happen? Is this insecurity real or just someone else’s opinion?
When I wear my hair up, do people notice my ears? Maybe and maybe not. Most have told me not until I point it out. All in all, it does not matter. My ears don’t make me less of a mother, wife, daughter, human being. It’s a part of my body. I am blessed enough to have my hearing.
Let go of the insecurity. Replace it with something positive about yourself. Maybe right now, you can’t get past the ears. Instead, you will focus on how good your hair looks. Focusing on the positive will take away those negative thoughts and worries.
Tony Robbins, American author, coach, speaker and philanthropist, gives details on how to get through limiting beliefs in all facets of life. I recommend reading or listening to one of his books if this is a constant struggle for you.
Whatever insecurity or limiting belief is holding you back today. Release it. Let it go. You are good enough. You are uniquely you, and that is incredible!
Stay simply confident,
Kayla