Brittany and I grew up in the same town. We are two years apart, but we enjoyed some high school memories together.
If you grew up in memorable small town, even after high school, you go back over winter and summer break, and sometimes, you never leave.
This photo was taken summer break 2009 at a beaver hut party. Some of you might be thinking, “beaver hut?” Yes, we partied in a basement foundation in the middle of the woods, where a few local kids put tree brush and branches on top with lights, generator DJ and all.
Those memories I will never forget because the freedom that you feel you have at that age is unmeasurable.
19 again
But beyond that, Kayla at 19 was nowhere near confident. She was confused about her college major. She was longing for time to standstill, and to be home with friends.
In building confidence and a small business, I think it is important to reflect on where you have been to know where you are going.
I expect this blog to be a series on "things I would say to my younger self." I encourage others to share their lessons learned in the comments or on our social post.
Things I would say to myself at 19
So here goes nothing...
1. Stop trying to grow up
At 18-19, you are told to grow up, get a real job, figure out your life. In grade school, you are encouraged “Be whatever you want to be!” Then, high school graduation comes and dreams can be crushed by fear when you hear, “You better pick a major and find a stable job.”
I have learned that no one has it figured out. Even the most motivated, intelligent young person out there still has learning to do.
I’m 32 and I don’t want to ever stop learning.
I will go through so many stages in my life, where I need to grow and be a better person.
When you are young (and old), you want life figured out. But, that is the hardest and best part - the journey. Just enjoy the ride.
2. Take care of your health (Don’t workout just to lose weight)
This is a two-part advice for myself. Mostly because I have learned that health is way more mental than it is physical.
In high school, you are in sports or extra curricular activities that keep you on the go. Unless you pursue those activities after high school, you won’t be moving your body in the same ways.
I encourage working out. However, I don’t want to be obsessed with working out. I don’t want 19-year-old Kayla to go to the gym because she felt fat today. I want her to move her body out of joy.
Think back to playing tag in the school yard, did you check your heart rate and calories burned? No! You just had fun running around.
Focus on that when you go to the gym or workout with friends. Enjoy that time.
3. Be aware of how you speak to yourself and others
When someone would criticize me when I was younger, my defense would go up. I would then talk badly about them to make myself feel better. I would gossip and lie about certain things to feel better.
That negative talk about others stemmed from the way I spoke to myself. If I wasn’t beating myself up in the mirror, the criticism or negative comments from others would have been a learning experience or I would just let it go.
Don’t take things so personally.
The words we say to ourselves and others have so much power. Choose wisely.
4. Create positive habits to make yourself feel good
Underage drinking often happens. Kids are rebellious and figuring out themselves, as I said earlier. However, at 19, I would sometimes use drinking as a way to escape. I would drink to build my confidence.
People talk about “liquid courage.” I used that excuse a lot to drink a couple more beers or make my mixed drink a few shots stronger. I was doing these things to make myself feel better about myself or my situation - when in reality, drinking made me feel worse because I would often do stupid things or say stupid things.
I would tell 19-year-old Kayla to get outside. Go to the movies. Read a good book. Watch a funny show. Talk to your friends and those cute guys you like without liquid courage. People love you for who you are!
These are just a few simple reminders that I needed at 19, and still need today to “stay simply confident.”
I know I will think of more, and encourage you to share your own as well.
Stay simply confident,
Kayla
1 comment
Don’t feel just because you didn’t succeed in what you wanted to do after high school that you are a failure. I wanted to become a teacher but could not pass the schooling. But I went on to be a CNA helping with the elderly. I had two children I could raise and be thankful and be proud of the two adults that they have become. I bar tended where I can be social with everybody and now I have three beautiful grandchildren, so I feel that my life has been a success and not a failure. It was just a different path than I originally wanted to go, but I have no regrets. God knows what path he wants you to lead and he will direct you in the right path if you just let him.